halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
