Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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