I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I need a beard to bite.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize