My brain says no but my pants say off.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
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