Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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