In the future we'll all be gay
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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