Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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