Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
