...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
