I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
