Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
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Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
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On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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