she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
where are my eyebrows?
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