Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
