If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
