It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
