We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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