your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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