Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
