She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
