she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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