WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
