so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
