So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize
