I only kidnapped one of them. chill
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
