whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
