Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
