guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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