was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
