I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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