I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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