she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
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