he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
