It's Friday. Sex?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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