Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize
