No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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