Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
