whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
