sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize