**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
