therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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