we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
