I'd wear matching sweaters with you
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Randomize