Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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