she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
