butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
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I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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