You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I want to fling myself into the sun
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
