He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
