Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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