it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
