I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize