You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
