Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
