I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just found puke in my bra..
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
