it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
