Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Nicole vs. Life
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
