it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
