the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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