I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
